Robert and I, during a recent discussion, came to the conclusion that we have a mutual admiration for a few parents, other than our own, in our lives.
Setting Boundaries
Mike & Angela (my son & daughter in law) are quite amazing when it comes to raising Nathan. They 'get' what many, or even most, parents do not. They are the adults and Nathan is the child. Seems pretty simple huh? It's really not as easy as they make it look. I watch as they raise Nathan without letting his emotions trigger theirs. For example, when Nathan is upset, they don't get upset back at him, but rather try to evaluate the cause of the situation. They set boundaries with consequences and stick with it. If Nathan continues to try the same thing over and over, they do not give in. The results, so far, are that Nathan is well behaved and is learning his limits every day. He is allowed to BE a child.
Setting Realistic Expectations
Chris, Kawika's Mom, is also another parent we are so grateful for and proud of. Kawika is Robert and Chris's son who lives in another state. Kawika came to stay with us for a week at Thanksgiving after not having seen his Dad (Robert) for a long time. Chris did such a wonderful job of preparing both Kawika and us for the visit. What to expect from Kawika, his likes & dislikes, what his normal routine was, etc. She also did the same for Kawika, preparing him to expect lots of pictures to be taken, telling him little stories about him and his Dad when he was younger, that it is OK to like me and so on. Although I have never met Chris in person, I will tell you that she is a wonderful parent. She gives Kawika a realistic view of what to expect in different situations, also sets boundaries with consequences, and makes many sacrifices to ensure that Kawika knows he is special.
Unconditional Trust
Calvin & Van, our friends from New Orleans are yet another example of great parents. Last year, they were in the midst of the devastation and destruction in NOLA with their three children. After the hurricane had passed, the family remained at the Hyatt, where Calvin worked, for a few days until they had to make a decision to leave. Both Calvin and Van drove their vehicles, with what little they were able to take with them in a rush, to Atlanta. When they arrived at our place, the children acted as if they were on vacation. They were not distraught nor traumitized as one might imagine. This family is so grounded in their faith and providing for their children, that the kids were spared experiences that would potentially scar them. Within a week, Van had sought assistance, leased an apartment, enrolled the kids in school and was adopted by a family providing them with the necessities to get back on their feet. Calvin had also obtained a transfer to the Atlanta Hyatt within the week. The children are well adjusted, never losing any trust through this experience and are happy in their new home all because of their wonderful parents.
Leading by Example / Instilling Work Ethic
Finally Kawehi, Robert's sister is an amazing example of good parenting and acheiving her dreams at the same time. Kawehi turned her dream of flying into reality. Taking lessons, buying her first plane, establishing Mokulele Flight Services (island hopping in Hawaii) and being awarded Business Woman of the Year in Hawaii. All of this, while she and her husband are raising three children, sending them to Hawaiin based schools which focus on their heritage and supporting their extra curricular activities. Kawehi not only leads by example showing their children that the sky's the limit, but is also instilling a work ethic that will prove beneficial throughout their lives.
Setting Boundaries
Mike & Angela (my son & daughter in law) are quite amazing when it comes to raising Nathan. They 'get' what many, or even most, parents do not. They are the adults and Nathan is the child. Seems pretty simple huh? It's really not as easy as they make it look. I watch as they raise Nathan without letting his emotions trigger theirs. For example, when Nathan is upset, they don't get upset back at him, but rather try to evaluate the cause of the situation. They set boundaries with consequences and stick with it. If Nathan continues to try the same thing over and over, they do not give in. The results, so far, are that Nathan is well behaved and is learning his limits every day. He is allowed to BE a child.
Setting Realistic Expectations
Chris, Kawika's Mom, is also another parent we are so grateful for and proud of. Kawika is Robert and Chris's son who lives in another state. Kawika came to stay with us for a week at Thanksgiving after not having seen his Dad (Robert) for a long time. Chris did such a wonderful job of preparing both Kawika and us for the visit. What to expect from Kawika, his likes & dislikes, what his normal routine was, etc. She also did the same for Kawika, preparing him to expect lots of pictures to be taken, telling him little stories about him and his Dad when he was younger, that it is OK to like me and so on. Although I have never met Chris in person, I will tell you that she is a wonderful parent. She gives Kawika a realistic view of what to expect in different situations, also sets boundaries with consequences, and makes many sacrifices to ensure that Kawika knows he is special.
Unconditional Trust
Calvin & Van, our friends from New Orleans are yet another example of great parents. Last year, they were in the midst of the devastation and destruction in NOLA with their three children. After the hurricane had passed, the family remained at the Hyatt, where Calvin worked, for a few days until they had to make a decision to leave. Both Calvin and Van drove their vehicles, with what little they were able to take with them in a rush, to Atlanta. When they arrived at our place, the children acted as if they were on vacation. They were not distraught nor traumitized as one might imagine. This family is so grounded in their faith and providing for their children, that the kids were spared experiences that would potentially scar them. Within a week, Van had sought assistance, leased an apartment, enrolled the kids in school and was adopted by a family providing them with the necessities to get back on their feet. Calvin had also obtained a transfer to the Atlanta Hyatt within the week. The children are well adjusted, never losing any trust through this experience and are happy in their new home all because of their wonderful parents.
Leading by Example / Instilling Work Ethic
Finally Kawehi, Robert's sister is an amazing example of good parenting and acheiving her dreams at the same time. Kawehi turned her dream of flying into reality. Taking lessons, buying her first plane, establishing Mokulele Flight Services (island hopping in Hawaii) and being awarded Business Woman of the Year in Hawaii. All of this, while she and her husband are raising three children, sending them to Hawaiin based schools which focus on their heritage and supporting their extra curricular activities. Kawehi not only leads by example showing their children that the sky's the limit, but is also instilling a work ethic that will prove beneficial throughout their lives.
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