If you ever wondered where you can find......

just about anything? Next time you are on a road trip, check out a truck stop instead of a local gas station. Robert and I have decided that these are a point of interest on any trip. Below is a list of just some of what you will find at any respectable truck stop:

• womens restrooms with coin op machines for perfume and sanitary nakins
• mens restrooms with coin op machines for cologne, aspirin & antacid and items "for HER pleasure and both of your protection"
  
• coffee that tastes like mud
• coin operated showers
• packages of Fruit of the Loom underwear - mens only
• handcuffs ?!
• tacky plastic signs to hang on the wall - with sayings like, "The more I drink, the better you look" and the proverbial "You might be a red neck if..."
  
• sign with suction cup (obviously for a truck) that says, "No Lot Lizards" and has a picture of a lizard in a fitting dress and pumps.
• arcade games
• 24 oz Rock Star energy drink
• hotdogs and taquitos that have been 'rolling' on the machine all day long
  
• statues of gators, castles and bulldogs that look like they are made of sand
• CDs of old musicians and time warp compilatons (e.g., Classic Hits of the 70's)
• attendants missing their teeth
• little packages of 'vitamins' and 'natural herbs' that will give you ENERGY
• sharpies (yes, we bought one!)
• pink trucker hats that say Corona
• do-rags with the rebel flag (isn't that an oxy-moron?)
• Nascar model collections (not cheap either)
• fireworks
• postcards
  
• over-priced candies and chips
• big truck car (oops I mean truck) wash

So, here's the deal. Stop in buy some clean underwear, take a shower, get some cologne and a trucker hat. Take your lot lizard out for arcade games, a taquito and a Rock Star energy drink. And to top the night off, buy her a sand castle to commemorate the night.

And that my friends is a truck stop. Hilarious stuff!